FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
