i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
