Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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