38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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