I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
