this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Panties = found
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
