her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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