JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Randomize
