No awkward lesbian experiences without me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
