this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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I understand Curling. That high.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
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Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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