:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
