cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize