Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
