Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Green mimosas i think yes
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
