East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
