I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
