nut hugger
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
