He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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