man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
