I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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