some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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