out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
