I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
