Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize