the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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