You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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