If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
