a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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