he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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