Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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