Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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