I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
