I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
