Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
