let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
