My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There r osticjed everywhere
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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