Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just had sex on a roof
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
