Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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