So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When did angry sex become our thing?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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