but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize
