He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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