it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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