Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
