ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
