are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
