My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
