Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
did you just send me my own nude
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
