I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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