hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Mom said you looked used
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
