physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
