I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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