thus making me awesome and them whores
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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