Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She's the barista slut.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
