I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
false alarm, still single
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
