Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
