All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
