your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
