I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
