I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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