You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
