I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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