my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
NoShamevember. You game?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize