guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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