JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
