I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
