if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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